Last year I started this post like this:
“ I have never learned more in one year than my first year of motherhood.”
Honestly this still rings true and I think a lot of you would agree. I learned a lot this year but I was definitely more adapted or “broken in” if you will. Because for me, my first year of motherhood shaped me into a stronger woman in so many ways.
So here are my top 10 lessons of 2018. You can read my Top 10 Lessons of 2017 here
2019 is my year for less and more
10. Less judgement and more acceptance | Not everyone will care about your kid(s) as much as you’d like them to or as much as others. It’s just the truth. And the other truth to this is that it doesn’t feel good. Not a lot of people talk about this. But here I am. This year I’ve learned to let it go.
9. Less expectation and more wonder | Expectations. Just let go of them. At the end of the day they’re just a bunch of fluffy stuff taking over your brain. This has been a big realization for me in so many ways. Friends and family, my body image, and business to note a few.
8. Less perfection and more experience | I have a new outlook on what “clean” is in my home. I had to learn (and am still learning) that nothing else gets done if I constantly pick up my house. With a very active two year old this is HARD for me. I set a goal for the level of cleanliness my house should be so I can get other things done (work and play). This goal has to be set or I get majorly distracted. Like upon sweeping you notice something on your baseboard and then your whole closet is torn apart distracted. My job is to take care of my daughter not to have a perfectly clean house.
7. Less mind and more heart | I’ll never be able to get it ALL done. Things need to be moved to tomorrow’s list. And when I do get it all done the feeling isn’t that much greater than when I get it mostly done. So why be anxious for that race to perfection when I can be enjoying life a little more. After all these standards are most likely your own.
6. Less quarrel and more peace | If you read last year’s list this isn’t much different. Currently learning to speak more gently and definitely not fight in front of Everley. Any time we sound anywhere near passionate about something Ever says “STOP”. She does not like negativity.
5. Less worry and more trust | In a difficult time I’ve learned to stop dead in my tracks and pray. On top of this I learned what I’m praying for is peace and direction vs God simply “changing” the outcome for me. And that having God on my side is really all I need. There is a lot of weight in this.
4. Less ego and more soul | FOMO is still real. I still admittedly get upset when I see friends doing things I feel like I want to be a part of. People still assume you can’t join because you have kids. What’s changed this year is truly from the bottom of my heart- it’s just gods way of giving me more time with my family.
3. Less routine and more adventures | I’ve learned to play. To forget about the hustle and bustle when I’m with Ever and just play. This lesson came along mostly at Disneyland on our solo trips this year. I’d map out the day, which rides and shows we’d see and find myself stressed if it wasn’t going to plan. Why? My intention was for her to have the best time but quickly realized she’s happy just dancing down main street waving to all of the characters. I learned this after the first couple of trips and then when it stuck and I just let go we had the best time. Kids are the best teachers.
2. Less walls and more bridges | If something scares me then it’s something I should probably go for. If I don’t take the leap there’s no room for growth. Whether it’s making new friends, expanding your creative outlet, or making lifestyle changes. This will be a big challenge for me in 2019. But I’m so ready!
1. Less complaining and more gratitude | I can be disciplined when it comes to body and my health. And I can give it grace and patience at the same time. I spent most of the year mad at my body for not working the way I wanted it to. After some tests at the end of this year I got a slight health scare. I went on a sugar control diet and said goodbye to sugar, processed food, grains, starchy veggies, and even coffee. All in an effort to heal my gut. I lost some weight and inflammation in my body but more importantly gained a new appreciation for what my body has already done for me up to this point. It’s not to be taken lightly. I was upset because it meant putting baby number two on hold but I needed to allow myself to heal. I still have work to do but I now know I can do it and that realization holds so much power.
Resolutions are something I’ve never made. I respect those that do whether they hold to them or not. Optimism, however, is more my style. Less of this and more of that.
I’m still holding onto this:
Happiness isn't defined by reaching goals or everything happening perfectly the way you want it to. It's rather your frame of mind as life is thrown at you. So I'm not going to make a million resolutions I know I won't keep. I'm going to make one promise to myself: find joy in every situation. I'm going to thank God for every opportunity and challenge that comes my way because I know either is meant to shape me into tomorrow's me.
Happy New Year, friends!